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Krakow City Guide

THISMarket Square

THIS GUIDE IS OLD AF. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH.

Krakow in a word: Quintessential.

Chance of Hooking up: 3 / 5
Quality of Girls: 4 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €2 for a pint.
Bed: €20 for a private room.
Bud: €10 per gram.
Board: €3-7 for a main course.
Budget other: A trip to Auschwitz is pretty cheap. I recommend shelling out for a day at the firing range with AK47s, snipers and handguns – around €40 and well worth it..
Currency Conversion

Overview

Krakow is home to Europe’s biggest Medieval square and the city is the perfect size for a walk about. It’s delectable, with lots to do, gorgeous girls and  booze for peanuts. Krakow is  the quintessential Eastern European city.

The Girls

Angelika Jakubowska

Polish girls are made from exemplary stock. If you like naturally good looking girls you’re in the right place.  Many men go crazy for the Polskis. They take care of themselves, dress well and have a variety of hair colours from light blonde to jet black. From observation, the women here are much more attractive and slimer than their neighbours in the the west and south. The sex ratio is preferable too – there are 13% more women than men living in Krakow. That said, the locals are hard to crack. Polish society is relatively conservative for the region. One night stands are not common and even getting a kiss takes patience. This is exacerbated in Krakow, the main tourist city in the country. In all likelhood you will be labelled as another horny tourist looking to get laid.  To combat this you need to lie about how long you’re in town and learn a little Polish. They will screen you like crazy, so take the time to warm them up. I’d also advise travelling to the city in winter when you have a greater chance of experiencing the “real” Krakow with less stag parties and a healthy injection of 120,000 Polish students. In reality, your Polish flag will be easier to get in any other city, unless you have a bit of time here. For online game consider nightlife.pl or ympatia.onet.pl. Alternatively, there are a fair few tourist chicks around looking for cock.

Check it:

PUA Video and field report  from Krakow here.

An American living in Krakow writes about Krakow girls.

Nightlife Recommendations

Most nightspots are easily within walking distance from the main square, many of which are underground and have a bunker-like feel to them. Krakow has a great pub culture, but only a  few decent options in the late hours. The good news is you can usually find something going on every night of the week.

Wielopole street

A wee bit of a walk, but well worth it. Here you will find nearly half a dozen different venues all in the same building! CarycaLubu-Dubu to name but a few. The whole thing feels like a giant house party in some Commy slum. This is an ideal place to pick up locals. You will either love it or hate it.

Prozac

No trip to Krakow would be complete without checking out Prozac. Inside is a maze of staircases, cocktail bars & dance floors. Nearly every room has different music and a different gang of fit girls hanging about. Great place to frequent and run game after 1AM.

That’s my input. Cracow-life provides a further breakdown.

Getting High

You would think a tourist hot spot like Krakow would be flooded with weed, but this isn’t Prague. Your best bet is college students. The building on Wielopole street attracts a few smokers, but you need to ask around. Art Club Bledne Kolo has a reggae night on Saturday, in bob we trust. Expect to pay around €10 per gram.

My Krakow Experience

I’ve been to Krakow three times, so I obviously like it! All occasions were weekends when I was with large groups. The summer months are lovely, but winter is better for locals. Every time I’ve went I’ve had completely different experiences; with one consistency – utter inebriation. The first time I went things got WAY out of hand, but that story is for another day. As for women, I’ve personally found Krakow chicks hard work compared to Warsaw. Go to the capital for the flag, but go the Krakow for everything else!

😉

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

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16 Responses to Krakow City Guide

  1. UKR_SLUG December 22, 2011 at 3:22 am #

    Krakow is one of my fav’s. Its like Prague and Lviv but has its own unique feel to it….its not as touristy as prague and not as authentic as Lviv. Great party city though. You are 100% about that college population 😉

    • Cerf Volant March 7, 2014 at 10:13 am #

      Well, yes, I agree. I live here and I just love the city.
      Btw, Nomad, I think you should come back to Krakow to see how it is changed after this 3 years. I’m sure you would like it…

  2. jagna April 27, 2012 at 8:11 pm #

    Need any help or infro bout kraków you can mail me. 🙂 jagna1988@gmail.com

  3. Maciej Rajk November 20, 2012 at 11:25 am #

    You should try Warsaw, my friend!
    http://en.maciejrajk.eu/warsaw-guide-for-a-single-guy/

    Otherwise a very cool guide. 🙂

  4. mclovin December 8, 2012 at 12:57 am #

    poland looks to be a place worth hittin up
    lotta guys are leaving to look for work leaving the women behind

  5. mclovin December 14, 2012 at 4:36 am #

    another reson to hit up poland apperntly they have a WORLD SEX COMPETITON thing going

  6. Tino December 14, 2012 at 5:30 pm #

    Hey Gus

    Very nice article. I m currently In Krakow as well and I would like to meet other people for sarging, is there any community out there?

  7. Sisi January 4, 2013 at 7:16 pm #

    If you need help getting around and avoid scam join krakow group on couch surfing. There are weekly meetings in a pub with foreginers and locals.

  8. Ulli April 24, 2013 at 6:45 am #

    Immediately, when I’ve been in Krakow for the very first time, I fall in love to this city so much that I’ll relocate after 28 years in Berlin to Krakow now. I love this easy going of the people there, even when they’re hard working people, too. They’re open-minded, but have strong values in their catholicizm, they’re family oriented, which I missed in my Germany and the woman are well educated as also sexy. My result is: Go to Krakow and see what will happen there to you.
    P.S.: One of the best pensions, you can find only 2 km away from the city centre at: pension “Iwona”,
    ul. Stefana Banacha no. 6, 31-234 Krakow, tel. 512 076 640, well situated, quiete, english spoken house, guarded parking and cheap prices

  9. cliff May 8, 2013 at 4:19 am #

    As a tourist, other than Krakow, my favourite city was Gdansk. It is on the Northern Baltic Coast, and was a Hanseatic League city (like Copenhagen and Amsterdam). Zakopane, in the South, is the place to ski in Poland. You can ski across the border into Slovakia if you want.

  10. Mo July 12, 2015 at 1:07 pm #

    Seriously, I do not know why you have a thing for Polskis. Personally, I’d say they are in general quite ugly. I live here, and it can literally take several days sometime walking around town finding just one good looking girl. Entire poland is mostly filled with old people. Plus, they also prefer non-foreigners. There are good looking Polish girls, but they are hardly on the Swedish level. In Sweden you can walk around for 1 hour in any of the big city centers and see minimum 10 hot girls per hour. In Poland, you might see one after 4 hours. Maybe sopot is the exception but even there, it’s a rare commodity. That’s just facts.

    • Andrew September 22, 2015 at 11:23 am #

      Sorry Mo,

      Poland beats sweden by a long shot. ugly must be the new hot for you. or your a fat lesbian who likes powerful blond girls. Thats just facts

  11. John November 23, 2015 at 6:43 am #

    Hey, i will be in Krakow this Friday for business. Any suggestion where to go party?
    Anyone want to join?

  12. John November 23, 2015 at 3:33 pm #

    Hey I will be in Krakow this friday. Anyone wants to go party?

  13. chris February 8, 2017 at 3:21 pm #

    hey guys does anybody know the best streets for daygame in krakow. I’m looking for apartment to rent and want the best logistics I can find. appreciate any advice 😉

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