The zone, in flow, on form –  it all means the same thing.  Well this nomad is on form. During the Siege of the Adriatic, I pulled off some impressive f closes with a handful of HBs from 5 different countries. That said, I  kept the standard high too.

Last night in Dublin, I had two girls on my arm, a chick from Zimbabwe (20) and a “devout” Muslim from Nigeria (18). The looks I was getting were hilarious, who was this bad ass Irish guy with two black chicks hanging off him? The Muslim was super cute, we made out and made arrangements for a day 2.

I have a 18 year old Filipina girl who wants to cook me dinner next week.

Not one hour ago,  a sexy chick from Cameroon (18) comes into the family pub and asks for my facebook.  WTF? Why do African chicks wanna jump me so bad? Since I’ve been back, I’ve been radiating sexual energy.

It’s the snow ball effect. What can I say? I’m on form.

I blame travel.

Did I mention it’s also my birthday today? WOO HOO!!!

I generally don’t think I’ve gotten a feel for a city unless I’ve spent at least 2-4 nights there, depending on the size of the place. As such, I’ve always felt full city guides for certain locations could not be justified . However, I certainly feel I can give you guys some good advice on places I’ve just popped into for a day or two, even if it’s only something small.  As such, I now provide snapshot guides as well as city guides. These will appear in italics on the “City Guides” page.

Snapshot guides are brief notes and tips on smaller towns and cities, as well as my experience of the night life.  I hope they will enrich your travel experience!

“Trawling” is a word used to describe the unsavory act of picking up unattractive women. The net is cast out, and whatever fish you catch will do. Sometimes a man will trawl a whale, sometimes a prawn. Trawling usually occurs when a man is drunk and extremely horny. While it is not an ideal practice, most men at some point in their life, have trawled.

Trawling was a word suggested by a dear friend of mine, and fellow pirate, Guzzling Gary. We first used the expression on the Siege of the Adriatic, where we  recently spent 24 consecutive nights dressed as Mexican Pirates, traveling in the Balkans. Thankfully, I did not engage in trawling on the trip. The same could not be said of my friends! haha

A “Prawn” is a girl with a nice body yet unattractive facial features. Similar to the shellfish, you disregard the head and chow on the body. Prawns are often picked up by horny guys who are “Trawling“. The word prawn has the same meaning as “Butterface” or “Bobfoc”. Personally,  I’m allergic.

Extreme Prawn

A pirate danced with his crew,
He stumbled upon a hot Jew,
A body to thrill,
He went for the kill,
Oh man was she able to screw.

and screw…

and screw…

and screw.

So a few nights ago I was in Thessaloniki, Greece; home to some of the most beautiful women in the Mediterranean.

After hearing a good K-closing technique from a friend, I decided to put it into practice.  For my first attempt, I went for a 19 yo hottie at a university concert in Kamara. Result – I managed to K-close within 10 seconds! Same with my second attempt, an even hotter chick only minutes later!!! Furthermore, it’s worked 2/2 times in Kosovo and 4/7 times in Macedonia, nearly all within 10 seconds!!!

What is magical routine you ask?

Firstly, I should mention on all of my approaches, I was dressed as a Mexican Pirate, sporting a sombrero and a fake sword; peacocking like crazy. As for the actually routine, this is best explained by example. I will use the script from my first attempt.

Me: Hi! What’s your name? (going for handshake)

Her: Sofia.. (Give best ‘flirty’ handshake, slow and held that little but longer. Gauge her reaction –  if receptive, continue.)

Me: My name’s Mark…. (Pause, looking disturbed)  Hey, are those real? (Pull on her eyelashes)

Her: (looking confused): Of course!

Me: I don’t believe you!

Her: They are!

Me: Close your eyes. (She closes her eyes)

Kiss her!

Start off with a prolonged peck; gauge reaction; continue if you feel she’s digging it.

I haven’t got a bad reaction once! In Macedonia, this even started the ball rolling for a one night stand! They love it! Try it out now guys!!!