Hanoi in a word: implacable.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 2.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €.60 a pint
Bed: €8 for a private  room.
Bud: €5 for a cigarette box.
Board: €1 for a basic meal.
Budget other: Beers get pricey in the high end nightclubs.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Hanoi is moto mayhem. The locals aren’t the most pro-western. Ha long bay near-by is mandatory.

The Girls

Vietnamese girls have paler complexions and look slightly more Chinese than the other races in Indo-China. They are attractive, but Veitnamese girls do not exude the warmth of the typical Thai. They are ultra petite like the Filipinas, but they lack the sexy accents and a bigger language barrier exists. These girls know what they what and they are pretty good hustlers. They don’t like Americans; they may act nice for the purposes of potential financial gain, but as far as they’re concerned you  killed Gramma. There is a lot of pick pockets and freelancers at night. My experience here involved attempted murder one night and being robbed another. That said, there is always a diamond in the rough. There are gentle and genuine women if you know where to look. If you’re looking for more friendly Vietnamese girls, head south to Ho Chi Minh.

Nightlife Recommendations

New century

New century is a big high-end nightclub with lots of girls. Note the ones that approach you are mostly working girls. You might have to shore but it’s difficult to build up emotional connection with these girls, they are pretty hardened. They’re are good girls here too.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

legislation: Marijuana is illegal in Vietnam, as well as most other social vices. The penalties in the books are very strict, however the police seems to look the other way or will ask for a small negotiable bribe. The big problem in this country is opium and heroin so marijuana is not the police’s first priority.

Law enforcement: In Hoan Kiem district frequent police patrols were spotted. Be careful when entering night-clubs, you will probably be searched in your pockets by local security agents.

Where to buy marijuana in Hanoi: The easiest way to get it is in Hoan Kiem district (near Hoan Kiem lake). Motorbike taxi drivers (or cyclo riders) will offer you something like this: “Motorbike? Marijuana?”. Since there are frequent police patrols in that area, it seems safer to do all the business during a short ride, where the drivers hands you a pocket of cigarettes filled with weed, you check and pay the price. If you’re staying in a back-packer hotel in the “Old city” ask your hotel guys.  For Thai stick during the summer (the only time it’s available) head down to Tet Bar at 2a Ta Hien, Hoan Kiem District. Outside a young Vietnamese dude named Than hangs out near the motorbikes and he’s got the goods. 50 grams should cost around US$50.

Hanoi marijuana prices: Prices are ranging from 50.000VND to 100.000VND (3 – 6 USD) for a pack of cigarettes filled with weed. Bargaining is a must, since at first sight you will be asked for anything between 10 – 20$. Thai stick 50grams (pressed into brick form) = $50 Laos buds 50-100grams = $40-80

locals here dont understand “marijuana” or “ganja”. You gotta ask for TAI MA

My Hanoi Experience

This story is definitely for another blog. It involved a machete and a Double BJ!.

Ulaanbaatar in a word: Drab.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 2 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €2 a beer.
Bed: €10 for a private  room.
Bud: €5 per gram.
Board: €3 for a pizza.
Budget other: Sometimes clubs have a cover charge, €5-ish.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Ulaanbaatar is the world’s coldest capital and it’s anything but glamorous. It’s  not like anywhere you’ve ever been to and that’s much of the city’s raw appeal. Get to Terelj national park and stay in a yurt for a night.

The Girls

Forget the stereotype, Mongolia is home to some classic beauties. Statuesque and slender with subtle, appealing features; these women are erotic, wonderfully feminine and wear bizarrely sexy couture. They are shy and very sub-servant. Just beware of cock-blocks. Mongolian guys are big, bad and very protective of their women. You want to meet a beautiful, genuine Mongolian girl? I hope you play golf. Good-looking, single girls flock to the Terelj golf course to work as caddies. Imagine a Thai massage parlour, but with dozens of cute girls dying to lug your shit around a golf course for a day. It’s hilarious but a great way to meet a cutie. Traditional culture is strong here so you could have your work cut of for you. There is also plenty of females in the big local Irish bar, the Great Khan.  There’s always a few ‘single’ girls floating round.

Nightlife Recommendations

Due to new laws, nightlife dries up at midnight. Just get out early. That said, The police turn a blind eye and one or two places open till 4pm.

Great Khan
This a huge Irish bar and probably the best spot in the city. It’s always busy and has plenty of cute girls and great food too! The Guinness is surprisingly tasty!

Face Nightclub
It’s in a convenient location and attracts a crowd most nights. Cheap beer and always a few locals knocking about. I got in a fight here for hitting on a local girl.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Cannabis is illegal in Mongolia. But it grows naturally almost everywhere in the country so no one really cares. Easy to bribe the cops if youre caught in smoking or possesion its usually max 20.000 tugruks (20$). Anyways cannabis is not very popular in the country so most people doesnt even know what it is.
Law enforcement: Having less than a 5 gramms of hash or cannabis you can stay locked about day or two and will pay fine of 50$ in a local police station. Selling it will make you in trouble of at least year in detention.
Where to buy marijuana: mostly nigth clubs, or ask the hippy looking guys in front area of state department store.

My Ulaanbaatar Experience

I was only here 2 nights and I was here with my parents. I’m not making excuses but having your Mam around kind of puts your game off. The second night I went out on my own to Face club and got in a fight.   But  it wasn’t all bad; my insanely cute golf caddie gave me her number the last day! I wish I had more time here.  I’m sure anyone who had a bit more time here could meet a nice girl. Really, these girls are adorable. Mongolia is a beautiful country.

See my pics below.

Shanghai in a word: Energetic.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 4 / 5
S.T.L: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1 a beer.
Bed: €12 for a private  room.
Bud: €30 for a big block of hash.
Board: €1 for a meal.
Budget other: It’s a big city, so budget for taxis at night.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Shanghai is the most liberal city on the mainland. The old town has great character and if you’re looking girls this is probably the best place in China.

The Girls

My jaw dropped a few times in this city. This author is convinced the Chinese government forces the hottest chicks in the country to migrate to Shanghai to breed superwomen. This city represents the creme de la creme of a billion people. Unfortunately this comes at a price. There are plenty of materialistic and pretentious girls here and there are a lot of foreign men on the hunt. Language can be a definite issue.  Does that mean those of us who roll into town without a clue can score? YES WE CAN. Make adjustments to your game to suit the culture, but know it might take a bit of time to crack the case. Ex-pats become experts at it. Social proof is key here. Go where the girls speak English, that unfortunately means the tourist areas, same applies in the day. Take a look on-line too.

Nightlife Recommendations

Shanghai nightlife is not something you can swallow up in a weekend. Here are some place worth checking out if your only here few awhile.

Babyface
This nightspot is jam packed with stunning girls. The crowd may be a little pretentious but it’s busy every night.

The Bund

This area has few nightspots and a good place to find English speakers.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Any drug use or associated activity is highly illegal in China, and many people are exucuted by the state for drug crimes every year, including some foreigners. But according to Lonely Planet \”Shanghai\” it is unsure what line the police would take with a foreign person caught using marijuana, but usaully they don’t seem to mind what foreigners do behind closed doors, as long as it doesn’t invovlve a native chinese person.

Law enforcement: Our reports say if you’re caught by the cops with over 20 grams of weed or hash, you’re fucked. its execution. the cops don’t really know what weed looks or smells like so no need to worry

Where to buy marijuana in Shanghai:
Incredibly easy transaction here. Just head to East Nanjing Road, wait to be solicited for a “sexy lady massage”, and simply ask the solicitor if he has hashish. Generally, they will make a call and you’ll have the hash in your hand within 10 minutes.

Marijuana Prices in Shanghai: 500 RMB for 1.8 oz or their abouts
It’s easy to get ripped off but generally it’s 300 – 700rmb for a nice ball of hashish, quality is not consistant, another reporter added: “1) 3000 Y for 40g of gold dusty hash. Type of hash that give you a sleep and munchies buzz. Not to strong so you can still go out and play in the city.

My Shanghai Experience

I really want to write a separate blog on this one. Basically I end up going a date with the most beautiful girl;  a model who happened to be a Triad boss’s under-age daughter. She had to bring a bodyguard. We managed to ditch the bodyguard in a “I have to go to the bathroom” manoeuvre. We escaped to the streets… to be continued.

So after a night on the prowl in central Africa, I find myself in bed smoking a joint with my latest conquest.  I felt like a king with this sweet ebony ass curled up next to me. I was the stoner version of James Bond, traipsing round the globe sleeping with the local women. But in that quite moment when all seemed right with the world, she turned to me and said:

“I’m worried”

“Why?” I asked.

“We didn’t use a condom”

“Yeah, but you told me everywhere was closed!” I wondered where this was going. I felt a fake pregnancy scam coming on here. DAM it! I really shouldn’t have came inside her.

“You are leaving tomorrow?” She asked.

“Yep, why?”

“Mark… you need to know something…”

I was pretty sure she wasn’t a man, but I didn’t like the tone of her voice.

“What… It’s OK, you can tell me.”

“…I’m sick.”

“Sick… what do you mean sick?”

“I think you know…”

My heart attempted to escape my chest as a feeling of impending doom pervaded my body. I became very conscience of the fact that this part of the world had some of the highest AIDS rates.

“You mean… you have HIV?”

She didn’t say anything, she just nodded…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Seriously, what a fucking bitch.

“By the way, I’ve HIV and you just fucked me.”

At least she’s dead now.

The next three months I was planning how I would live the rest of my life. I knew the chances where slim, but going in the get my STD results was one of the scariest moments of my life…

“You’re test results came back, I’ve got some bad news and some good news.”

“I don’t like the sound of that..”

“Good news is your HIV results came up negative but bad news is you’ve got a STD.”

I was never so happy to hear the words “you’ve got a STD”.

It’s all sorted now, so my irresponsible and reckless lifestyle continues! YEAH!

Moral of the story: Always carry a condom in your wallet.

It turns out HIV transmission rates are grossly exaggerated. Educate yourself and click here.

I am lucky enough to have visited every country in South East Asia.

OK, so I haven’t been to every inch of the place but I’ve a better angle than most so I’d thought I give you guys my top 10 picks!

First let me give you the criteria.

These places/countries are judged on:

• NB – Natural beauty / Historical wonders
• UE – Unique Experiences offered
• CH – The Chill-out Factor (Off the beaten track, smoke etc.)
• CR – The Craic! (Irish term meaning fun or entertainment)
• X – The Girls  (the real X factor)

So here they are…

Naughty Nomad’s

TOP 10 Spots in South East Asia!

——————————————————————————————-

10. Flores, Indonesia

In a word: Wild.

NB – Diverse & Dramatic.

UE – Volcanoes &  Dragons.

CH – Few Tourists here.

CR - Restricted to Weekends.

X – Cute accents; pity there’s not more of them.

Bottom Line: Launch Pad for Komodo and home to some of the most dramatic volcano scenery in the world.

——————————————————————————————-

9. Vang Vieng, Laos

In a word: Lazy.

NB – Winding Rivers through beautiful karst scenery.

UE - Tubing down the river, drugs on the menu.

CH – Very chilled but too many tourists. Low season is better.

CR - Riverside bars with ‘happy’ pizzas and friends on TV. Night-life limited.

X - A big no no. $500 fine if you are caught with a local girl.

Bottom Line: Great place to flake out for a few days, but no Boom Boom.

——————————————————————————————-

8. Myanmar

In a word: Bizarre.

NB - Bagan puts Angkor Wat to shame.

UE - This is why this place is on the list. No American brands, strange clothing, painted faces, fashion shows in every bar and no mobile phones.

CH – Horse carts and only hardcore tourists.

CR - The odd full moon festival and driving the horse cart pissed.

X - Sigh, no phones and the girls don’t drink…

Bottom Line: This country is the most unique in the S.E. Asia and leaves more memories than any other, but night-life is a little frustrating.

——————————————————————————————-

7. Ha Long Bay, Vietnam

In a word: Popular.

NB – Sunsets over the South China sea accompanied by 1,960 islets.

UE – Spending an exciting night on a Vietnamese boat.

CH - Rack and pack em in the day but lovely when the sun goes down.

CR - Some weed, liquor and midnight swim anyone?

X -Unless you got some horny Americans on your boats…

Bottom Line: It may be a tourist trap but it’s 100% worth it.

——————————————————————————————-

6. Palawan, The Philippines

In a word: Adventurous.

NB - Jungles, empty beaches and the world’s largest underground river.

UE – Epic Motorbiking trips . Canoeing to a deserted island.

CH - Your own private beach anyone? Purple Sunsets? Heaven.

CR - Diving ship wrecks and the dangerous dirt bike trails.

X -There’s always a few cuties to date in Philly…

Bottom Line: If you want  adventure, love and escapism; this is the place.

——————————————————————————————-

5. Bali, Indonesia

In a word: Unique.

NB - Great Beaches, beautiful landscapes and endearing rice paddies.

UE – Balinese culture; surfing; diving; motorbiking around the island.

CH – Beers on the beach are good; but a lot of tourists in Kuta.

CR – Plenty of great restaurants, live music and pumping nightspots.

X - Balinese girls are premium with good values. Other options include cheeky Javanese Muslims and crass Australian women.

Bottom Line: It may be a tourist trap but it’s 100% worth it.

——————————————————————————————-

4. Cambodia (in general)

In a word: Lawless

NB – Angkor Wat.

UE – No rules. People go off the rails here.

CH – You can smoke weed out  in the open; on a beach. Nuf said.

CR – Every night is an adventure ; endless debauchery.

X – Khmer girls are cute and love foreigners.

Bottom Line: You may never leave.

——————————————————————————————-

3. Phuket, Thailand

In a word: Sex.

NB - It’s got a decent beach.

UE – Going to pool hall at 6am and being surrounded by gorgeous women.

CH - Flake out on the sand, oversexed and hungover.

CR – Live music and perfect for pub crawls.

X - Girls, girls and more girls…

Bottom Line: Sex, and lots of it. Spend more than a week here and you will probably catch something.

——————————————————————————————-

2. Borneo, Malaysia

In a word: Idyllic.

NB – Unique wildlife, pristine beaches and the world’s biggest cave.

UE - Jungle excursions and staying in long houses.

CH – Back to Nature.

CR – Fantastic pub culture. Get to Rainforest Festival in July.

X – Chinese girls here incredible attractive, probably the best in S.E Asia… They are quite friendly as well! Excellent place for dating hotties and MLTR.

Bottom Line: Something for everyone. So much to do here, not enough time. Everyday here is an absolute pleasure. You’re just ‘happy’ here.

——————————————————————————————-

1. Boracay, The Philippines

In a word: Paradise.

NB – White beaches, palm trees , turquoise waters and violet sunsets. Ahh!

UE – Mongolian Buffets, Mojitos and free love.

CH – In low season this place seems to good to be true. Think Disney land with no ques; hammocks and female acoustic sets.

CR – Ram-shackle discos by the beach with live music and cheap drinks.

X - Romantic, sexy and artistic; these Filipinas are addictive. Plenty of creamy Japanese and Korean tourists around too.

Bottom Line: For this nomad, this place is paradise.  Go in Low season.

——————————————————————————————-

Honourable Mentions

I decided to only include places I’ve actually been in the top 10. I contacted some fellow globe-trotters to give their top 10 as well. I’d like take this opportunity to thank everyone involved! The only problem was everyone had different picks!  But it’s nice to see there was some consistencies.  Here are some other picks from fellow travellers…

• The Malukus/ Sulawesi, Indonesia
• Pie, Thailand
• Aceh, Sumatra, Indonesia
• Northern Laos
• Hoi An, Vietnam
• Luzon, Philippines
• Northern Vietnam
• Koh Phi Phi, Thailand
• Dili, East Timor (I’ve been here, it just missed the list)

Check out my S.E Asia City Guides!

Please share your favourite places! Leave a comment below!

LISTEN UP MAGGOT!

So you think you’re hard son?

You think  you got what it takes huh?

Y’all tired o’those pansy faggot tourist trails? HUH!?

Well… I hope you know what you got yourselves in fur..

Ok, so maybe you done time… seen some action…

Well guess what?

YOU AIN’T SHIT!

Afghanistan & Irac are for PUSSIES!

Hell I could bring my Gramma there - you gud fur nothin’ yellowbelly BABY KILLERS!

Ever been to the Congo?

… been held at gun point?

… smelt fear after you done shit yourself?

… been rapped by a gang of angry Hutus?

… didn’t think so.

I bet you’ve never even made love to a gorilla tied to a tree.

Well… bout time you tried, ain’t it?

Y’all need to be PREPARED to go in-to-de-CONGO!

WAR ZONE PACKIN’ CHECKLIST

• Volcano insurance. You want everyone callin’ you magma dick? Not in a month of Sundays!
• Mosquito repellent. If you gots malaria you done fur! They got no hospital no how.
• Wacky Tabacey. How do expect to pay fur some moonshine with a million francs that ain’t worth an once of cornbread?  You dumb shit.
• Booze and a pack of Marlboro. You planned bribing these folks with a Gareth Brook CD? Fuck you!
• Condoms. These women have been gang-rapped and brutalised. I repeat: Rapped and brutalised. Again and again and again.  I guess they figure a stranger in these parts might treat em gud. You know, treat ‘em like they ought’a be treated.  So do! SHOW EM’ A GOOD TIME BOYS! YEE-HAW!
• Last but not least – My book. Buy my fuckin’ book!

ON SALE NOW! for only 5,000 Ugandan Shillings!

Y’all come back now ya hear!

( You dumb sons of bitches)

Actual pictures we took in the Congo below:

Phnom Penh in a word: Playground.
C.O.H: 4.5 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 4.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  $1 a beer.
Bed: €3 for a private  room.
Bud: Practically free!
Board: €2 for a decent meal.
Budget other: The odd bribe might cost you.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Most people go off the rails here. This place has everything. Cambodia is the wild west of East Asia. If you like weed, sex and booze; you may never leave.

The Girls

Khmer girls are cute and cunning. They are darker than other races in Indo-China. They’re traditional dancing is insanely sexy and portrays an alluring delicacy . Be but warned, they get very jealous and are prone to violence. Life is cheap in Cambodia. What constituents prostitution here is a contentious issue.  Men pay dowries to marry women; who in turn are treated like property. Some girls in Phnom Penh are ‘professional girlfriends’. They won’t ask for money but they often expect the man to pay for everything. Other girls are more relaxed and just want to meet foreigners. One night stands are common but the  girls tend to want relationships to develop as a result. But that’s not a bad thing; Khmer chicks are great fun, smoke weed and are very willing to please. Expect to stay A LOT longer than expected. The life style here is sweet. My first trip here was with a friend in 2006 – he is still there to this day!

Nightlife Recommendations

Phnom Penh is rockin’ every single night. This place is anything but boring. Here are some popular picks. Plenty of girls of all backgrounds in both.

Heart of Darkness
This small little disco is practically famous. Attracting all the angels and demons of Phnom Penh, this place is a must.

Pontoon

Cool boat bar by the river. A bit more up-scale; a good place to pick up more sophisticated Khmers.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Technically smoking pot is illegal in cambodia. However given that the cambodians use it in cooking, restaurants use it on pizzas, and corruption is rampant it generally is not a problem so long as your sensible. Remember this is a very poor country, and people may be desperate for a sale or (other extreme) split a bribe..

Law Enforcement: In area’s like the Lake side you will have almost no problem with police as the local bars and guesthouses bribe the police to create a sort of ‘Green Light District’ in the middle of Phnom Penh.
Otherwise generally you will barely ever see any police around, just dont smoke in a non-tourist public area. Be sensible.

Where to buy Marijuana in Phnom Penh, Cambodia : You can almost always buy weed in the backpacker’s district, or by the lake side. as you make your way towards the restraunts on the water’s edge, you will most likely be confronted by 2 or 3 men asking you “you want joint?” by joint they just mean weed. prices go about 2$ for a decent bag. if you pay them more they will remember your kindness and deliver to parties or to city addresses for you
and another reporter added: “While living there I found the best place to buy from are the happy pizza shops along the lakeside. You can straight out ask or if your’e a little sketched out try asking them for rolling papers and usually they will offer. The stuff sold here is slightly better than any of the stuff you will buy off a street dealer or tuk-tuk/moto driver, but there is always them.

If you’re up for a good night go down to the Lake side where you will almost be surrounded by dealers asking you if you want to buy all sorts of drugs from weed to opium. They are usually found smack in the middle of the lake side main road and they will be more discrete before sunset and openly deal after sunset.
WARNING: When dealing with street dealers make sure you have the money you want to pay in cash in your pocket or something. The street dealers will get very close to you and ignore your personal space. So its a BAD idea to take out your wallet to pay because as soon as you give your dealer the money for the weed someone else will try and grab your wallet out of your hands. I learnt that the hard way.

Another good place to buy weed is also at the lakeside at the bar ‘Magic Sponge’ just ask the guy at the bar for a joint and he will roll you one or give you one he’s already rolled. There nice and big joints but have more baccy than normal (hey the guy has to make a living) if you go when its not busy he will probably roll one and join you on his ps2. Great guy ”

Phnom Penh Marijuana Prices: Buying off street dealers/tuk-tuk drivers and moto drivers its important to know you can bargain. If your good you can get a medium sized bag (I estimate about a 1/4) for $2-5USD but thats if you can bargain well. Dont buy for more than that off a street-dealer your getting ripped off.

Buying at the pizza places costs a little more because the weed is better so you can buy in bags of $10USD or $15USD the bags again look like they contain about a 1/4 but you never know how much your getting unless you weigh but I doubt any cambodian dealer will care if its under/over weight.
At the Magic Sponge joints go for $1USD

My Phnom Penh Experience

I could write a book about my experiences here.  I think in this circumstance a picture’s worth a thousand word.

Hong Kong in a word: Crazy.
C.O.H: 4 / 5
Q.O.G: 3.5 / 5
S.T.L: 3.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €4 a pint
Bed: €15 for a private  room.
Bud: €50 for a 1/2 oz.
Board: €5 for a basic meal.
Budget other: Hong Kong is expensive and taxis from Hong Kong to Kowloon at night raise costs.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Hong Kong can be as tame or as wild as you want it to be. It’s surprisingly multicultural and English is widely spoken. Great variety for night life.

The Girls

The Cantonese girls are gorgeous; creamy skin, super-cute faces and tight bodies. Generally, the standard here is better than most parts of South East Asia. Hong Kong has something for everyone. There are expatriates here from every corner of the globe; plenty of S.E, Asian, South American and African girls to choose from, as well as wealthy Cantonese girls to date. Hong Kong girls are well educated and have their heads screwed on.  Everyone has a different opinion of this place, it all depends on how long you are here. Chinese girls can take a bit of work while other ethnicities are easier. What type of girl you want really depends on where you go at night.

Nightlife Recommendations

Hong Kong, the classy version:

Lan Kwai Fong

Great selection of bars, lots of beautiful Cantonese girls and plenty of expats. This is great place to pick up high quality girls. Beer can be expensive but you can go the supermarket and drink on the street. Lan Kwai has a great party atmosphere and if you have more than one night in Hong Kong it’s a must.

Hong Kong, The sleazy version

Wan Chai

I’ve had the craziest nights of my life here. Wan Chai is multi-cultural madness where the beer is cheap and the girls are loose. It’s considered a red light but there are some legit establishments.  A lot of female migrants from foreign countries come here for drink deals on ladies’ night (Wed). Neptunes 2 bar/disco has live music and is packed with girls from all over the world. It’s an ordinary discos and not intended to be places to meet prostitutes. However, the reality is that there are always plenty of single girls to be found in these nightclubs because they are supplied with free drinks by the bar staff while they are waiting for a client to come along. Shoring often occurs. Dusk till Dawn is another place to check out and is a bit more upmarket. It has live music and the girls are screened to limit solicitation.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: It is absolutely illegal to cultivate cannabis in Hong Kong. As quoted from the “Dangerous Drugs Ordinance”:
“No person shall cultivate any plant of the genus cannabis or the opium poppy, but nothing in this subsection shall prevent the Government Chemist, in his capacity as such, from cultivating a plant of the genus cannabis so far as may be necessary for the exercise of his employment. (Amended 62 of 1994 s. 3)”

Law Enforcement: Hong Kong Police do not tend to look for Marijuana. However, NEVER walk down the street smoking– if the police notice they would bust you– even foreigners. If you seem suspicious, the police will check you.The main thing is to act calm and act like a tourist.

If you’re smoking outdoors its nice to always hide your shit before hand. Cops tend to walk up to people and do random I.D. checks and also sometimes they will search you. (They rarely search your shoe. If you are smoking indoors you should be A.O.K!  Not to put your marjuana in cigeratte box. The police here only search it concentrate on cigeratte boxes  another reporter argued: “You will be arrested if you are caught with marijuana here. Very efficient and highly skilled. One of the world’s best and most professional police forces.”

Where to Buy Marijuana in Hong Kong: Kwoloon is Hong Kong “downtown” hip area, where all the nightly action takes place.. In the Tsim Sha Tsui peninsula of Kowloon, there are two main spots: Chunking Mansions and the neighboring Mirador Mansions – just walk in to any of the two, get a feel for the place and ask around the West Africans or Asians loitering around busy doing nothing, one of them should hook you up.
The trendy and party animal locals say it is certainly a bad idea to smoke in a club

Kowloon park in TST is also a great place to score – just walk around in the park at night and someone will usually try to get you to buy hash. If you know the right people, you can get good pot for good prices. I just picked up a 1/4 of a good indica hybrid for $800 HK (about $100 US). There are better prices to be had too, but I don\’t have a hookup. Ounces of good indoor bud can go for as little as $2500 or as high as $4000, depending on who you know. There is a lot of good bud to be had in HK now. If you know some locals in Kowloon, you can get smaller bags, but normally you can’t buy less than a 1/4 in HK.”

Hong Kong Marijuana Prices and brands:
1/2 oz = 500 $HK (60 $US) for low quality pot
1 oz = 3,000 $HK (350 $US!) for real good hydro skunk, 1,000 $HK (120 $US) for swag.  Good quality hash costs about 50 pounds an ounce, if you konw where to buy it. In TST it will cost much more an is sold in small amounts. These dealers will always lie to you about the quantity. There is probably not too much risk for a tourist but be careful.

My Hong Kong Experience

Threesome.

But that’s a whole other blog… CLICK HERE!

Jakarta in a word: Huge.
C.O.H: 4 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 2 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €1
Bed: €10-15 for a private room
Bud: €10 per finger
Board: €1 for a basic meal.
Budget other: If you don’t book in advance you could end up shelling out for a hotel.
Currency Conversion

Overview

I think wiki-travel provide an adequate description. Jakarta is “a sweltering, steaming, heaving mass of some 10 million people packed into a vast urban sprawl.” It may be the capital of the largest Islamic nation, but there’s just as much debauchery here as Bangkok.

 

The Girls

There is a good mix of Indonesian shades here. They island of Java has some of the most beautiful girls in South East Asia. They are very feminine and in this authors opinion, have the sexiest accents in Asia. Religion is rife but don’t despair! Jakarta represents the more liberated elements of Indonesian society and there are plenty of willing girls who drink and sleep around. Like the surrounding regions, getting girls in this city is much easier than in the west. Language can be an issue but Bahasa Indonesian is very easy to pick up. In nightspots like Block M prostitution is very prevalent. Day game is great, especially if you don’t won’t to deal with the sprawl of Jakarta nightlife.

Nightlife Recommendations

The problem with Jakarta is it’s size. The main backpaking area Jalan Jaska is  miles away  from the rest of the nightlife.

Jalan Jaksa

Memories- This place is nice for a good beer, live music and observing the spectacle that is of Jakarta nightlife.

Ali’s – A slice of Africa in Asia. Great music and great fun. I picked up here before.

Block M

Seedy for some but it has to done. Click here.

Stadium

5000 capacity. This place is the biggest club in South East Asia; an institution. Open Thursday and doesn’t close till Sunday. Bring your credit card.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s input: Reggae shop, Jalan Jaska

Legislation: it is illegal to posess or smoke marijuana in this country

DEATH upon conviction, even a small plant with no flowering lands you at least US$2500 fine + jail term. Not sure if caught with a handful of buds though.

Law enforcement: sometimes enforced, but other times the police just looks the other way. The police has no idea what marijuana looks/smells like, but be careful of drugraids. Smoking up in public is no problem, as long as there is no police around. If locals catch you they will just laugh.

Where to buy marijuana: Kampung Ambon in Cengkareng is the wholesale marijuana hub in Jakarta, it is where the best stuff is sold. Other places to find would be in the discotheques, just ask the dealers scattered around.

A good place to get weed from is Block M near a mall called “pasar raya”. just ask one of the indonisians hanging around, selling DVD. The weed in Block M is good but if you want to score hash, go to the north, to “Glodok” or “Mangga Dua”. Another good place to get weed is Kemang, dont be afraid to ask people, its totaly safe.

For ease of convenince, you can go to the disco in town and ask the many dealers inside. most will offer you MDMA but they do have weed as well. It’s expensive there cos it’s all pre-rolled tiny joints, made up from 2 mini skin, amount of weed inside is just as much as 1 bong hit mixed with clove tabacco.

One particular spot which has at least a few dealers aggresively approach you as you enter, is the infamous ST*D**M, (=sports ground).”

Marijuana prices: 0.5-1$/g good qualety 30$/150g bad qualety
small packets for Rp 150,000 big packets Rp 400,000
also: “Rp20,000 for a mini joint”

More information: Jakarta is not famous for its weed but for its XTC witch starts at 2$ per pill.

My Jakarta Experience

First night here, I thought I landed in hell.

Second night BOOM! Weed, Women, everything. Scored in Ali’s with an Indonesian who didn’t even speak English. But she wasn’t great and a Christian, I wanted a Muzzy!

One day just walking down the street I gave my number to this AMAZING looking Muslim girl. I thought there was no chance she would contact me given how beautiful she was. Turns out she text me the day we were leaving! I told her I only had a few hours so she invited me straight to her room. After talking for a while I put the moves on her. She showed token resistance  but soon caved. I had the best sex of my life – again and again and again. She was so into it and kept asking for more! She was my first Muslim and one of the sexiest women I’ve ever been with. Jakarta may be a bit of a shit hole but it sure has some gems.

Man! Writing these guides just brings back fond memories. Nothing like the incredible excitement you feel when you get a strange new city or even a familiar favourite.

Why is it when you’re not travelling you always feel like you’re missing out on something?

…Oh, I know.  BECAUSE YOU ARE.

I look at pictures of tanned, toned half-naked ladies  and can’t help but think…

Why am I not there?

I deserve to be in a warm country over-sexed and hungover.

I’m in hibernation, spending my days inside and foraging for cash, just so I leave again! I don’t even notice Irish women. I seen them as men. I don’t even bother going out. I have ZERO interest. The only thing that perks me up is the odd Black, Asian and European girl that happens to fall into my lap. But still.. it’s just not… abroad.

Abroad is where to I want to go,

where booze is cheap and cocktails flow.

Abraod is where it’s nice and hot,

on hammocks chillin, smoking pot.

Abroad has sexy girls galore,

with slim, dark bodies to explore.

But here at home the standard drops,

with pasty, flabby muffin tops.

I’ve had enough, I’m outta here,

Destination: anywhere.