KL towers at night

KL in a word: Dynamic.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 1.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around €5 a pint.
Bed: €6-8 for a private room.
Bud: ?
Board: €2 for a decent chinese dish.
Budget other: Alcohol gets insanely expensive in nightclubs.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Kuala Lumpur is a dynamic place and is a nice size. It is quite developed and safe with wonderful parks. Indians, Chinese and Malays all inhabit this pleasurable city. This would be a fantastic city to hang out in if it wasn’t for the exoberant alcohol tax.

Malay girls are adorable

The Girls

Malaysian law is pretty strict on native Malay muslims drinking, as a result it is unlikely to encounter Malay girls at night. That said, plenty of Chinese and Indian girls do indulge. Malay girls have darker skin than other ethnic groups on the peninsula and many are extremely attractive and feminine. If you want to meet a nice Malay woman, your best bet is Borneo as East Malaysia is considerably more conservative. One positive about Kuala Lumpur is that English is widely understood due to the ethnic mix. Kuala Lumpur is also great place to meet some stunning Chinese girls, many of whom are independent and well-educated. KL is also home to many are Filipinas and Vietnamese women. While many work here legitimately, others come to the city to work as prostitutes.

Nightlife Recommendations

The nightlife in KL is slighty disappointing. This is part due to extremes.

There are 4 types of place to drink  in KL.

• Chinese restaurants with cheap booze
• Tourist Bars (the nearest happy medium)
• High-end nightclubs with high-end prices
• Sleazy Freelancer bars

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s  input: “you need to befriend a local”

Legislation: Very very strict, which means death penalty for traficking and for sure jail for any amount, even very small.

Law enforcement: Severe. You should only smoke in your hotel room. Police does usually not bother foreigner, but they will sure do if they suspect something. Another reporter added: “Police here are mostly corrupted. So a bribe could get you away.

Where to buy marijuana: In the golden triangle area, talk with the guys that try to hook you up with the prostitutes. Play the stupid (I’m not sure if you can get me what I want, bla, bla…) and you will eventually bring on the conversation on weed. Once the deal is set, walk or take a cab straight to your hotel, you don’t want to hang around with the weed. And don’t let the dealer know where you stay as he might then report to his policeman friend ! If you’re very very careful, everything should be fine.

Jalan Chow Kit is the main place for it. Locate the market, ask someone where is the lamb/mutton are sold, near there, you will find some fruits stalls, look out for guys making eye contact, just nod and walk towards a less crowded place, if he follows, you’re on, pay and get the hell outta there. ”

Marijuana prices: In this place mostly are sold in RM10 packs which hardly enough for a joint, negotiate and ask for better deals.
and also: “Never really measured but… 1 quarter of your palm filled with weed will mostly cost you more or less 30 ringgit, always bargain”

My KL Experience

I’ve been to KL 4 times.
I’ve walked across the entire city and feel I know it pretty well.
I got laid twice but it took a bit of luck (one from Beach bar and once from Zouk), I personally prefer beach bar. The food is to die for and some of the girls here are ‘make-you-want-to-stay-here’ gorgeous. I’d actually consider living here if the booze wasn’t so pricey.

Me in Zouk

Your best wingman

My Grandmother just beat cancer and got out from hospital. So naturally, I agreed when she asked me to help her pick up some things at the nearest shopping centre.

Guess What?

Girls were practically eating out of my hand!

It all started in our first stop to pick up some slippers. Our cashier was a cute blonde, way too attractive to be Irish. My grandmother “opened her” to pay for her new kicks, then I swooped in with “Where are you from?”.

“Poland” she answers.

I spoke a few Polish words and she was practically smitten. She was flirty and keen, real keen. This wasn’t just a one occasion. The whole day girls were ultra-receptive. I was unshaven, dressed like a homeless person with an 80-year-old lady on my arm and yet some how I was exuding sexual energy. I decided to take advantage of this and get a few numbers…

My gramma would ask a shop assistant something like:

“Where can I find some cleaning solution for dentures?”

After a bit of banter, I would end the interaction with a bit a humor, handing them my phone and say:

“Should we have any denture cleaning related problems, I think it would best if I took your number…”

Boom. Works 80% of the time, all the time.

This technique works because:

• Having your gramma with you abolishs women’s defenses
• It shows high survival value (you are a protector)
• Women will almost NEVER reject you in front of your gramma.
• Day game in general is better for picking up high quality women.

Moral of the story: Bring the granny to get some fanny.

After my weekend in Glasgow, I release that when it comes to hooking up – everything is relative.

As you can see, this graph exhibits high convexity. This shows good intentions, but as the night progresses and closing time draws closer, standards decline rapidly. This effect is commonly known as “Beer Goggles”.

Possible side-effects include: Shame, hangovers & diarrhoea.

City Center Street

Bucharest in a word: Acceptable.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 4 / 5
S.T.L: 1 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1.30 for a pint.
Bed: €13 for a private room
Bud: €15 per gram (hash)
Board: €3 for a pizza.
Budget other: Beware of currency con-artists.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Bucharest is an acceptable, walkable city but pales in comparison to other Romanian cities. To give you some perspective: it’s not as memorable as Belgrade but it has a lot more character than Sofia.

The Girls

Christina Dumitru

When you get to Bucharest you will be merry. Romanians girls are foxy.  They are slight and splendidly cute; stylish and pretty bright. One thing you will notice about Bucharest is couples have no problem making out in public. The girls are quite liberal in this regard. Although its not quite as easy to close here as the Eastern Slavic countries, it’s a great place for dating. From my experience the girls in other Romanian cities are much more friendly than those in Bucharest. That said, the quality here is hard to beat. A lot of the younger generation speak English and peakcocking garners a good deal of interest. Negs will knock the chicks down a peg or two (a lot of them need it).

Nightlife Recommendations

The nightlife is slightly dispersed. The old town/Lipscani has the biggest concentration of bars.

B52

Lots of cute student girls and cheap booze. If you want to cut out the middle man go to Piranha which is actually on campus!

Control Club

Kind of a hipster place, the girls here are a little alternative but receptive. I had a great time here. It has a kind of underground feel to it and often has live bands. It also has a lively bar and a dance floor. Busy most nights.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Very strict. You can’t be arrested for consumption but 1g in your pocket, if found, means jail for sure.

Law Enforcement: Undercover cops in most of the clubs, pubs, bars. Usual policemen knows the look and smell of weed, so home is the best place to enjoy your smoking.

Where to buy Marijuana in Bucharest: Just friends and friends of friends. Asking ppl on the street or clubs is a bad idea. Don’t try to get hooked up from people you don’t know. It’s also more likely to find hash than weed. Where NOT to buy marijuana: clubs, bars, discos; suburban, ghetto-like areas; concerts or public events. In general, in Romania marijuana or hash can be bought safely only from people you know. Don’t buy from strangers !

Prices:

Depending on where it came from, prices/gram are variable:
10-14 eur for better romanian weed [will get you going] 15-25 eur for imports [from Germany or The Netherlands - real good stuff] 20 eur for the best hash you’ll ever smoke [Made in Romania]

My Bucharest Experience

I enjoyed this city. I also had success hooking up, but instead of a Romanian girl I end up with a Norwegian. I’m definitely not complaining.

UPDATE: My good friend Guzzling Gaz (who I accredit the word Trawling) just came back from the city. He successfully got the Romanian flag via online means.

Lusaka Market

Lusaka in a word: Casual.
C.O.H: 5 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1.50 for a bottle.
Bed: €13 for a private room
Bud: €10-15 per gram
Board: €5 for 3 grams.
Budget other: You need taxis at night.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Lusaka is refreshingly cosmopolitan. Zambians love to drink and the city has a great bar scene. Lot’s a fun to be had here!

The Girls

Miss Africa 09: Zambian

Zambian girls are attractive, fun-loving and are exceptionally friendly. They have nicer features than most western Africans and you can find absurdly sexy girls here! Not only all they slim with whopper curves,  they also have liberal sexual attitudes and are more relaxed than girls in east African countries. You can meet plenty of  Zambian women who are travelled and educated. Most of them are just looking to have some fun and are less inclined to see you as a giant wallet. Day game is easy and shelters you from a potentially sleazy night out. Just be warned, there is a high instance of HIV here. When you get to Lusaka you will see why.

Nightlife Recommendations

They’re are plenty of Western-style spots filled with tourists and locals alike. Lusaka nights are anything but boring. The classiness of the clientèle varies tremendously from place to place.

Lusaka, the classy version…

Arcades

Two bars, great for a warm up. Plenty of classy girls about. You can even come across the odd model.

Lusaka, the slighty sleazier version…

Alpha Bar

Lusaka’s must-see! Everybody comes to this disco-bar at least once. The beer is cheap and there’s women a plenty. That said, many are  ladies of the nights so you might end up shoring without knowing. This place has a great atmosphere and is packed every night. Anything goes.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Marijuana is illegal in Zambia, and so is any related action

Law enforcement: Never had any run ins with law enforcement. They seemed to be more interested in other things, however locals are very cautious about dealing in the open. The person you are scoring from will be very discreet.

Where to buy marijuana: Zambia is very economically depressed,so it is not to difficult to find. Just ask a street vender or a cab driver where to find the Dagga and it will not take long…

Marijuana prices: about $5.00 to $10.00 U.S. for about three to seven grams

Marijuana brands: most bud in Zambia is forest grown and decent quality.

My Lusaka Experience

I got both ends of the stick in Lusaka. I picked up a 19yo in Alpha bar who bought me back to a coach-roach invested shack. But she was very sweet and we really connected. The next day I hooked up with a billboard model for Miller! I met her on a bus to Livingstone. I used some Jefferies stuff and end up getting her off on the bus! We met up later that night but her agent wouldn’t let me into the room. She told me to sneak into the hotel after ten minutes. Bad idea.  I got arrested for breaking and entering and she end up getting kicked out of the hotel for her involvement. Happy ending – she got me released without charge and now she keeps begging me to back there.

Check out this pic I took at Victoria falls…

getting stoned watching the earth turn...

I once had a really good friend,
Who travelled with me to Phnom Penh;
He knocked some chick up,
They just had a pup,
We’ll never see Paddy again.

On the Danube

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €2 for a pint
Bed: €18 for a private room
Bud: €10-15 per gram
Board: €3 for a hearty goulash.
Budget other: €10 for a booze cruise. You will have to take taxis from Buda to/from Pest at night.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Budapest is a beautiful city and has a lot to offer. It’s one of those places you wouldn’t mind going back to. Enjoy the quirky bars, dip in the baths and embark on a scenic booze cruise of the Danube.

Park Baths

The Girls

Tamara's just Buda'ful

If you’re coming from western Europe you will think the girls are exceptional. If you’re coming from Poland or the east you will feel downgraded (but they do have a little extra T&A). Male and Female interactions are en-keeping with the rest of Eastern Europe. The man is expected to pay for drinks on dates and respect them and blah blah blah. You can game them like any other girl. There is a language barrier but Hungarian women don’t seem to care and are interested in meeting non-Hungarian men. The pub scene here is great for chatting up women. Huge crowds hang-out outside in the summer and create a festival like atmosphere, it provide a great opportunity to meet locals and some saucy backpackers as well.

Nightlife Recommendations

Go on the Booze Cruise. This is usually followed by an epic pub crawl. Otherwise, there are two great bars you should check out, both are suitable for picking-up girls and enjoying a relaxing pint. Both of these place are definitely for the summer.

Szimpla

Great atmospheric bar with tons of character. The entrance might throw you off but go inside – think beer garden  / junkyard. Lots of people around and cheap drinks. Good place to bring a date. Lots of seating so not a great place to go on your own.

Zold Pardon

Great open-air riverside bar popular with locals and foreigners alike. Concerts nearly every night. I had an excellent time here.

* Honourable mention for Dokk beach near-by. Open air club (cap. 10,000!)

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Hashish and marijuana are totally illegal. However you can buy weed in a lot of varieties and in very good quality. A lot of Hungarian people smoke marijuana.

Law Enforcement: The police will arrest everybody who use, buy, grow soft drugs, but sometimes you can buy your freedom on the spot.

Where to Buy marijuana in Budapest: Head to the marina, there are 4-5 discos and one of them is on a boat. Go into the boat and go to the rear of it. Ask someone where you can shop? They show you the dealer and if you come in time you can get some weed. The place is only open during weekends until 5 am. But you need to be there earlier as demand is higher than supplies.

Budapest marijuana Prices:
the going price around town is supposed to be 10 euros for a gram and that’s what they will tell you that you’re gonna get but the deals are really small.

My Budapest Experience

I was tour guide here for 10 women so I had my hands full! I still managed to hook up with a incredibly sensual, attractive Chinese/Canadian girl from my hostel whom I’m still in contact with. Hungarian girls didn’t attract my attention after Poland to tell you the truth… The booze cruise was electric.

Me in Budapest…

I'm so cool.

I travel with just a carry-on 25 Litre army backpack everywhere I go, so I know how important space is!

Now I’m not going to tell you to pack 3 pairs of self-washable super socks that that double as small towels; or to bring a special penknife that turns into a small life raft with a cocktail bar; you can get that info somewhere else.

This is a special travel kit.

Something essential for all you vagabonding Venusian artists…

………………………………………………………….

The Naughty Nomad Travel Kit

A Fetching Hat

YES! This outfit got me action.

A hat, jewellery, a tie, a striking shirt; whatever! Never underestimate the power of a little peakcocking. Separate yourself from the herd and women will respond. In my case, good head wear translates to good head. This technique helps in places where you may look similar to the locals… i.e. A white guy in Eastern Europe or a Black guy in Africa. Peakcocking also gives you an advantage over other tourists elsewhere .

An Unblocked Phone

What about Jenny?

How the are going to call her without a phone dip shit!? OK so I don’t recommend calling girls who leave their number on toilet doors, but if you want to arrange dates you need a dam phone. Buy a local SIM card. It’s cheaper and girls will be more inclined to text you. Having a phone more than doubles your chances of hooking up. I wish someone told me this before I went to Africa! A phone is also needed for my “Number Crunching” gambit. Email me @ thenaughtynomad@gmail.com to get the password.

Candle & Incense

The mood setter

It sounds corny, but this works wonders. A candle and some incense can turn that $3 shit hole into a Romantic oasis. Get all those senses tingling. Make sure the girl lights the candle, her involvement in building the scene is a subconscious submission to the seduction. Candlelight also provides the perfect luminance for some good lovin’.

Ultra light Speakers / Laptop

Small but mighty

You got to get some tunes going to set the mood. Laptops usually suffice, otherwise hook up your Mp3 player to these ultra light speakers. A lot of these compact travel speakers provide really great sound a nice amount of sensual bass vibrations. But more importantly you need…

The Right Playlist

♪ ♫ Let's get it on! Owh! ♪ ♫

Make a sexy playlist. Start it off nice and slow and customise it to your style. Try and create a flow.  On one occasion I actually esculated the seduction in syrcronisation with a playlist! I even arrange different songs for different positions! Hey, why not?

Massage Oil

Oh yeah!

Now you’re getting into it. Skin looks sooo much sexier covered in oil, and who doesn’t like a massage? Get creative. Massage oil also doubles as a lube for all you cheeky sodomites.

Playtime Items

What the hell?

I’m not going to judge here.

Condoms, Handcuffs, Duck-tape, Video-camera, the Super Licker 5000 (above), Phallic paraphernalia or whatever else you sickos are into… put them into your Naughty Nomad kit! You’re nearly finished.

Finally… Pictures of  dead naked women

nice...

So you’ve just had sex with a woman you no intention of having a future with?

Nothing says Mr.Right like a few pics of a defiled battered corpse. Try add some white stains for extra effect. Leave them casually displayed on the floor  before you take your morning shower. She’ll be gone before you wash your hair.

BTW – If you’re a smoker bring skins. Do you how hard it is to find skins in a country where a box of fags is little more that a dollar!? Stock up.

The Blonde Parade

Riga in a word: Ridiculous.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 5 / 5
S.T.L: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €3 for a pint
Bed: €12 for a private room
Bud: €15 per gram
Board: €6 for a pizza.
Budget other: Beware: some nightclubs charge exorbitant prices like €7.50 for a  bottle of Corona.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Riga has it all – a charming old town, great night-life and its near a beach. It’s the most expensive Baltic country but that will probably change. The biggest attraction here is…

Djadenko from Riga

The Girls

Book an appointment with your physician before your return flight; after spending a few days here your neck will be in tethers. I mean it’s ridiculous, you can’t even eat breakfast without being constantly distracted by the barrage of stunning specimens on display. With naturally beautiful faces and shamefully slim, well proportioned physiques, only Kiev might compare. Even the mannequins are hot! They may a take a bit of gaming so you need to step up. Some social proof and a little peak-cocking is advised. You need to get here. You need to get here now. Click here.

Nightlife Recommendations

Conveniently  there is a good concentration of night options in the old town. Your mission: Try and avoid the British stag parties.

I love you bar

This place has two floors and cheap beers. Upstairs is better for conversation. I actually got approached here!

Club Essential

Massive after hours club packed with tons of hotties and even a few 10′s!

Standard fare in Riga

Any more suggestions on this section would be welcome. I can not, for the life of me remember the names of half the places I went to.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Law enforcement: If you get caught with amount smaller than 1 gram it’s only an administrative offence and you can get away with a fine or bribe – approximatelly 30Ls (~17$) should be enough. But on the other hand – if you are foreigners, they will probably want more – just act you don’t have any more cash and that you’re in hurry – it is very likely they will accept the the offer. But if it’s more than 1 gram you will be considered as dealer and then you’re in trouble. But it is extremely uncommon to get searched without a reason – so if you don\’t get in any trouble and/or act VERY suspicious, you should be safe.

Where to buy marijuana: It’s best if you have a friend who has a friend, because if you buy form a unknown dealer on the street it is quite possible to get low quality weed. You can try asking people who look like ones who should know… I highly recommend asking punk-looking youth. They are usually very friendly and will tell you where to get it (or even sell you their own). A place to look for dealers is Old Riga but don’t expect good quality and price. Never ask skinheads! They will act very friendly and tell you they know a place to buy cheap and very good marijuana and ask to follow. If you do so, expect to get beaten and robbed.

Marijuana prices: Usual price is 7Ls (14$) for a gram. But it will be more in Old Riga and a bit cheaper if you\’re lucky to find a good dealer.
Prices vary 6 LVL – 10 LVL ($11 – $18,5) per gram Actually “gram” is not a fixed value in Latvia, but the price is. It can happen that you buy from a gypsy dealer, you can pay 10 LVL for the thing called “gram” by that dealer, but actual ammount would be smaller. $1 approx. = 0,54 LVL

My Riga Experience

I was here for 2 nights with 4 good friends. I k-closed 2 local girls  and made out with a Finnish girl  (much to her BF’s dismay I’d say), but unfortunately no full close. At least I have an excuse to come back! I imagine a 2nd meet-up and an adherence to Mystery’s 7 hour rule would have you golden.

Today I am celebrating my first hate mail!

It’s good to see some of my content provoking readers.

If this author (who is allegedly scum) does not remove the Marilyn Monroe burqa image in my header, I will ”face the consequences”.

My rebuttal:

Bring it.

Your wife. (the 2nd one, not the 3rd)