How to smuggle drugs across 7 borders in Africa

Step 1) Buy a kilo of weed in Ethiopia for less than $5.

Step 2) Take an 18 hour ride on top of an armed convey to Nairobi and bribe the guards at the Kenyan border.

Step 3) Arrive in Nairobi, then get stoned and go on safari

Step 4) Go to Uganda (they don’t check the bus)

Step 5) Get stoned and go white water rafting. YEAH!!

Step 6) After that, get stoned and decide to go into North Kivu, an active warzone in the Congo! YEAH!!

Step 7) Arrive in the Congo and realise you’re a idiot… Why are you in the Congo? This was such a bad idea. I mean, you could get killed… don’t spend too long here. Travel through the jungle bribing the various militia with cigarettes and booze hoping they don’t slice you open…

Step 8 ) Get to the UN protected area of Goma, PHEW! (bribe the guards so they don’t find your stash)

Step 9) Realise there’s no electricity here and pay for a bed in the local brothel with your cheap-ass Ethiopian weed. It’s good currency here.

Step 10) Wake up, get stoned and decide it was more fun outside the UN proctected area.

Step 11) Get to your nearest Pymgy tribe and celebrate a local wedding! WAY HAY!

Step 12) Illegally enter Rwanda (with the weed)

Step 13) Get on a plane to Kilimanjaro (they probably don’t check the machines)

Step 14) Go to Zanzibar (distract the bag inspector) and sell some of the weed to the rastas – who sell to the tourists. Now you gotz money!

Step 15) Get stoned on a train to Zambia (hell give the train attendant a blow!)

Step 16) Get stoned and bungee jump over Victoria falls!

.Step 17) Get sto…. wha…  hey what happened all the weed?